15.iii

Another sodding pound gone. And stay away too.

Am starting to feel very tired, but that may also be the ridiculous amount of stuff I have been doing, partly because I have to and partly because while I am busy, I don't think about food.

Need to fast today and tomorrow though. Hard to concentrate when lovely things are in the fridge. Need that iron will back. No food, just liquids. Need to see more of those bones now. Ghosts of ribs and hipbones. Flat stomach, indentations in my thighs.

Have thrown away jeans that were too small for me last year and are swamping me now.

Will keep occupied tonight taking winter clothes out of the closet making lists of things I can buy when I am finally at 112.

12.iii

Still losing, but can feel iron resolve dissolving in face of baguette scents and hot steaming bowls of stew. Need to read and be inspired by some of your blogs and remember how very temporary this all is.

I need to be in the 120s by the beginning of next week.

Distractions? Thinspo. Walking. DVDs. Fresh air. Dog. Organising clothes - winter ones put away.

Read an inspiring post a while ago from a girl who harnessed the perfectionism and obsession we have within us, and used it in her professional life - competitive, driven, focussed, single-minded. Wonderful and positive way of looking at this.

Hope that you are all coping and feeling strong and beautiful.

9.iii

Another pound gone - hope it will stay away and isn't just fibbing scales. Clothes considerably more comfortable and still loving that fasting feeling of cleanliness, lightmess and amazing amounts of concentration.

Want to get rid of sooo much. Things, mainly. Crap I've mistakenly thought would make me happy. Clothes that remind me of that fat unfitting feeling. Stuff people have given me because I never throw anything away - give it to me, off your conscience and into my bottomless one.

And my favourite, not, countless pairs of too-tight trousers given by my mother, smiling - 'These are just hanging off me.' Screw you, mama.

And don't even get me started on the emotional clutter...